


the day that i never saw your lovely face

by gleefulmarauder



Category: Glee
Genre: Implied/Referenced Suicide, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-01
Updated: 2021-03-01
Packaged: 2021-03-14 04:02:33
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 415
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29786169
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gleefulmarauder/pseuds/gleefulmarauder
Summary: Blaine is too busy psyching himself up for the Warbler’s performance, a panic attack in the sweaty toilet stall has already made him lateau where Blaine never meets Kurt that day on the stairs, or ever
Relationships: Blaine Anderson/Kurt Hummel
Kudos: 6





	the day that i never saw your lovely face

**Author's Note:**

> tw// suicidal thoughts, depression, anxiety, if you're not in a great place this maybe isn't for you right now, go drink some water <3

Blaine is stuck in his own head that day, if not busy with his thoughts then there are earphones jammed into his ears, flooding his world with the only relief he knows – well, the only healthy one. 

Blaine is too busy psyching himself up for the Warbler’s performance, a panic attack in the sweaty toilet stall has already made him late, _just one more_ , one more song, one more dance, one last time with his friends. 

And then he’s free. 

That's the deal he’s made. Get through this day and he never has to get through another. 

He doesn’t feel the hand on his shoulder, doesn’t hear the voice of the new kid with the not-quite-right uniform and sunglasses asking what’s happening. 

Blaine is unaware of all of it, stuck in his own world. 

He doesn’t know that the other boy knows exactly how he feels, doesn’t know that if they got the chance to talk they’d want the chance to do so much more, he doesn’t know how this boy could change his life. He never will. 

Blaine gets to the common room and sings his song, sings it well, he knows. Blaine doesn’t see the new kid, standing just off to the side with some student kind enough to stop and answer him. 

But Kurt sees Blaine, he sees the confident lead warbler singing his heart out, but he also recognizes the fake smile, the way his eyes shine just that bit too much to be from happiness. 

Kurt thinks that he’d like to get to know him. 

Blaine heads home that day feeling weirdly subdued, not totally calm but not bursting with overspilling emotions like he sometimes is. 

That doesn’t change anything though. 

It doesn’t change the fact that when he does reach his house it’s still not really his home. It doesn’t change the fact that when he calls out into the foyer he’s met with deafening silence. It doesn’t change the fact that no one will think to check on him till Monday. It doesn’t change all those words his dad has spoken or yelled or hit at him time and time again. 

Feeling vaguely okay that day doesn’t change what he’s been thinking about for weeks, what he’s wanted for longer than that. 

It doesn’t change the fact that Blaine has had everything taken from him, _everything_ , to the point where the only thing left for him to take is his life. 

If he had only seen that face.

**Author's Note:**

> title from The Luckiest by Ben Folds  
> if you don't know, Darren said he wished Blaine could have sung this to Kurt and i'm actually working on another fic based off it as well, it's also one of my favourite songs though and i reccomend you give it a listen :)


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